Cleveland police responding to a 911 call from Wal-Mart (where else?) in which 36-year-old Precious Jackson accused 25-year-old Maneka Garner of pummeling her with a 10-pound log of ground beef.
I feel the need to point out here that “Precious Jackson” is not a stripper name, and that “10-pound log of ground beef” is not a euphemism.