Shooting Each Other Is Fine As Long As You Maintain Social Distancing

Some­one opened fire dur­ing a par­ty in Chica­go, killing two and wound­ing 13. Police have no sus­pect yet, and they don’t know what moti­vat­ed the shoot­er.

But Chica­go Police Super­in­ten­dent David Brown seemed a lot more con­cerned about Chica­go res­i­dents attend­ing a par­ty than he was about the two mur­ders:

Brown also remind­ed Chica­go res­i­dents to con­tin­ue to adhere to social dis­tanc­ing guide­lines amid the COVID-19 pan­dem­ic.

“Noth­ing has changed, Brown said. “You’re jump­ing the gun if you think it’s okay to be in small, closed con­fine­ments.”

Thanks, Offi­cer Brown. We’ll try to remem­ber to kill each oth­er from at least 6 feet away from now on.