Daily DuhEntertainment

Billy Eichner Is Really Really Mad at You for Spoiling His Movie. Yes, YOU.

Bil­ly Eich­n­er, star of last week’s release of his bro­mance Bros, is real­ly upset at you. Yes, you, you heart­less bas­tard. You went out of your way not to go see Bros just to spoil Eich­n­er’s day.

A week­end box office of $4.8 mil­lion for a movie that was breath­less­ly hyped from Rolling Stone to Vari­ety and back is pret­ty embar­rass­ing, espe­cial­ly when it also had a mar­ket­ing bud­get of $20 mil­lion and was released on 3,350 screens.

Eich­n­er and the usu­al cadre of per­pet­u­al but­thurt pun­dits say they’re not mad at you. They’re just dis­ap­point­ed with you. They thought you, being the fly­over-state mouth­breath­ing inbred great unwashed that you are, were ready for a dram­e­dy about gay rela­tion­ships.

Okay; sure, you laughed until you peed your­self watch­ing The Bird­cage. And you cried like a baby when you saw Broke­back Moun­tain.

But that does­n’t mean it’s just that Bros isn’t a very good movie. No; this is all your fault. I hope you can live with your­self.

Con­grats, Bil­ly Eich­n­er! I wish you luck in your quest to force movie­go­ers to like your movies. In the mean­time, enjoy your Dai­ly Duh­mass award!

Related Articles

Back to top button