Daily Duh

Build Back Better Is Dead! Long Live ________________!

Daily Duh: February 11, 2022

♬ Just a spoon­ful of bull­shit helps the med­i­cine go down! ♬

A lot of Democ­rats are holed up, lick­ing their wounds and griev­ing the fetal demise of Build Back Bet­ter.

Not Nan­cy Pelosi! No siree!

Nan­cy’s wear­ing her best Mary Pop­pins blouse and apron, feath­er dus­ter­ing things with a crisp “Spit-spot,” singing to a bird and just gen­er­al­ly cheer­ing up the hell out of every­one.

“Build Back Bet­ter isn’t dead!” she trills. “Why, it just needs a new name! Noth­ing like a new name for a new day!”

Well then! Some­one on one of my favorite time-wast­ing web­sites, Fark.com, engaged in a lit­tle crowd-sourc­ing to help the wind change and send Pelosi Pop­pins wher­ev­er the hell she goes at night. So we’re proud to present high­lights from Fark’s Build Back Bet­ter Reboot dis­cus­sion! 

  • How about The Ship For­mer­ly Known As Titan­ic?
  • Baby Got Built Back Bet­ter
  • Total Infra­struc­ture, Tun­nels, Tow­ers, Inter­state and Engi­neer­ing Sys­tems (TITTIES) bill
  • Build Back Bet­ter Bet­ter
  • You and Your State Gets Stuff Bill
  • The How Amer­i­ca’s Reamed by Manchin & Sine­ma (HARMS) Act.
  • Defund Amer­i­ca
  • Biden’s Bigass Ben­e­fi­cial Bill.
  • Frame­work for reform­ing edu­ca­tion and the envi­ron­ment through decen­cy and oblig­a­tions man­age­ment (FREEDOM)((Aka Arbeit macht frei?))
  • Build Back Build Back Bet­ter Bet­ter
  • The Let’s Go, Bran­don Bill
  • Renew Amer­i­ca’s Poten­cy Enter­prise (RAPE)!
  • The “We’re already spend­ing your great  great  great grand­chil­drens’ mon­ey, so why not add anoth­er great to that” Act
  • I Can’t Believe It Isn’t Build Back Bet­ter
  • Not this shit again!
  • Build Back But­ter Pecan Ice Cream! C’mon, Ben & Jer­ry’s!
  • Build­back­bet­tery McBuild­back­bet­ter­face

There were a few oth­er per­spi­ca­cious hon­or­able men­tions:

“If pump­ing sun­shine on Fark worked in real life, Democ­rats would have a 400 seat advan­tage in the house, 90 in the Sen­ate, 48 states would have D gov­er­nors, and it would be ille­gal to be a Repub­li­can.”

“What­ev­er it’s called, it needs to have “By Joe Manchin” in the byline. Bernie had his chance to write a bill that was­n’t a far-left, social­ist train wreck inca­pable of win­ning over the par­ty. Time to give some­one who under­stands prag­ma­tism a shot.”

So there ya go, Nan­cy! Hope this helps!

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