Why Do Liberals Suddenly Want to Protect Chick-fil‑A?

Remem­ber when activists announced Chick-fil‑A was evil and bad because the founder made dona­tions to char­i­ties sup­port­ing tra­di­tion­al mar­riage? Sure you do.

You’ll wan­na sit down for this: Now they’re defend­ing Chick-fil‑A, because Chick-fil‑A is test­ing a sand­wich made with cau­li­flower instead of chick­en. And this, the activists claim, angers con­ser­v­a­tives because meat sub­sti­tutes are “woke,” and the angry con­ser­v­a­tives don’t know what “woke” means, so they’re out­raged just to be cau­tious.

Remem­ber how that vast army of con­ser­v­a­tive ass­holes also boy­cotted Star­bucks, Wendy’s, White Cas­tle, Nathan’s, Del Taco, Dairy Queen, Arby’s, A&W, Bojan­gles, Burg­er King, Hard­ee’s, Church’s, Cul­ver’s, In-N-Out, Jack in the Box, Jol­libee, KFC, McDon­alds, Popeyes, Rais­ing Cane’s, Roy Rogers, Son­ic, Taco Bell, Whataburg­er, and Zaxby’s over meat­less ver­sions of their menu items?

You don’t? Here’s why:

It did­n’t hap­pen.

Giz­mo­do is like the nar­ra­tor in The Adven­tures of Ralph Mell­ish, who keeps get­ting all excit­ed about hor­ri­ble cat­a­stroph­ic impend­ing doom, only to crash head­long into noth­ing’s stub­born, mali­cious refusal to hap­pen. Over and over the nar­ra­tor and his music almost reach­es a crescendo–oh so close to spooging all over his micro­phone, until noth­ing, that bon­er-killing bas­tard, shows up and ruins every­thing.

If you click the Giz­mo­do link up there to read Ange­ly Mer­cado’s arti­cle, you’ll find sneer­ing and dis­gust about these nonex­is­tent Nean­derthal Rethugli­cans. She men­tions a Chick-fil‑A tweet announc­ing the sand­wich, but does­n’t link to it. She claims there are tidal waves of out­rage among con­ser­v­a­tives, with no exam­ples or quotes or names or links or pho­tos.

There’s no there there. She’s suf­fer­ing from Ralph Mell­ish syn­drome: Noth­ing hap­pened. Noth­ing stub­born­ly, defi­ant­ly, con­tin­ues to hap­pen.

She also claims Chick-fil‑A delet­ed the press release announc­ing the new sand­wich in response to—and we can’t overem­pha­size this—the nonex­is­tent tidal wave of out­rage. No, the prob­lem is that Mer­ca­do made a typo in the link, noticed the link did­n’t work, and did­n’t both­er to check why it was­n’t working.((You can see the press release here, at www.chick-fil‑a.com/~etc. Mer­cado’s link points here, at www.www.chick-fil‑a.com/~etc. ))

It’s sur­re­al to see left­ists defend­ing Chick-Fil‑A. It looks like 2023 is going to be The Year of Left­ist Inco­her­ence.

Let’s hear it for the Duh­mass of the Day: Left­ist chick­ens! Wait; I mean left­ists who like chick­en.

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