Daily Duh

DC Puts Baby in a Corner

Stop that this instant, you las­civ­i­ous per­verts!

Dis­trict of Colum­bia May­or Muriel Bowser’s plan to “reopen” DC is an HOA con­trol freak’s wet dream.

Take wed­dings: In her infi­nite wis­dom and gen­eros­i­ty, Bows­er will allow you to get mar­ried. Or go to a wed­ding. Indoors, even.

Long as you don’t dance at the recep­tion. Danc­ing is ver­boten. You aren’t allowed to grab a cock­tail and stand around and chat, either.

That’s right: Most of the states, even Cal­i­for­nia and New York, are lift­ing COVID cur­fews and mask man­dates and get­ting back to work.

DC, on the oth­er hand, is putting Baby in a cor­ner.

Bowser’s going about it all wrong, if you ask me. She should hire nuns to chap­er­one all wed­dings:

I went to a Catholic high school, and eagle-eyed nuns would patrol school dances, mak­ing sure cou­ples were danc­ing at least 8 inch­es apart. They’d actu­al­ly mea­sure the dis­tance with a ruler.

The bride and groom will of course require enhanced pro­tec­tion:

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