Daily DuhPandemic Panic

Dr. Fauci’s Oompa Loompa Farewell

Dr. Fau­ci announced he’s leav­ing his job, what­ev­er it was, in Decem­ber: He’s leav­ing to pur­sue the next stage of his career; plus he thinks Democ­rats are going to lose the House and the Sen­ate, so when Repub­li­cans take over in Jan­u­ary and start inves­ti­gat­ing his record and financ­ing research in Wuhan and all the oth­er ques­tion­able stuff he’s done, he’ll be long gone, enjoy­ing his $20 mil­lion book deal in a nice, sun­ny coun­try with­out extra­di­tion.

(That last part is a lit­tle bit inferred.)

We humbly sub­mit the fol­low­ing Oom­pa Loom­pa song in hon­or of Fau­ci’s depar­ture:

Oom­pa Loom­pa doo­p­i­ty doo
I’ve got a worth­less doc­tor for you
Oom­pa Loom­pa doo­p­i­ty dack
You should­n’t trust an incom­pe­tent quack!

What does a rat on a sink­ing ship do?
Run for the lifeboats, tram­pling you!
When does he pay for all of his lies?
Not till the day a BIG! PIG! FLIES!
(It’s not gonna ha-ap-pen!)

Oom­pa Loom­pa doo­p­i­ty dunk
Fau­ci’s a quack rat fly­ing pig skunk
Oom­pa Loom­pa doo­p­i­ty dim
You will be wise not to lis­ten to him!

Con­grats, Fau­ci! Here’s your Dai­ly Duh­mass award; you’ve earned it!




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